


hypermnesia

by hailhydraheyskye



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dead Allison Argent, F/M, Gen, Mentioned Stiles Stilinski/Malia Tate, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 16:32:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5504828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailhydraheyskye/pseuds/hailhydraheyskye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They said that it wasn’t you, that it wasn’t your hand, but all the Onis were yours puppets.<br/>You cry when your dad is not home. You cry when you take your shower, with glimpses of imaginary blood (Allison. I’m sorry, it wasn’t my fault)</p>
            </blockquote>





	hypermnesia

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you will enjoy this !

You remember things too well, and sometimes you forgot just that it was your own memories and not some dark nightmares. You want it so hard, you want not wake up with tears in your eyes, and take Malia’s hand in yours and just be able to answer that you’re fine when she asks you.  
But the world isn’t a fairy tale (you’re the bad guy, the monster under children’s beds and you are scared of yourself in the dark) and Allison is gone and you had killed her by someone else’s (you can’t give it a name. Sometimes you call it Stiles and your hands begin to shake) hand.  
You remember precisely Lydia’s scream in your ears, just like someone was dying, and her best friend was lying in your best friend’s arms, with blood everywhere and shy words of love running away with her life.  
Generally, you fall of your bed, just like a stupid teenage boy who dreams that he can save Scott’s first love with your own life but fails every time just to watch her, be run through by a sword (again and again, and again)  
Lydia never stops to scream and Scott to cry and Isaac to look at the scene just like it was some sort of terrifying horror movies. In your dreams (oh sorry, yours nightmares. She lives forever in her death. Dying but with you) you kill her, but hope could say that you are sorry.  
You remember how Lydia has saved you by a kiss (god. You remembered this time of your life where she was the One and you, a nice boy) and ask yourself why Scott hasn’t succeeded in saving the love of his life. Maybe he wasn’t her true love; maybe it was you but maybe you weren’t the kind of guy who saves the girl, just the one who takes her life away.  
You two were not Romeo and Juliet because you were the Death who was not dead and that she is dead in the arms of an other than you.  
Before her, you went to the cemetery to put flowers on your mom’s tombstone. However now you stay too long in this place. You don’t put flowers on Allison’s because you are his murdered and because you still afraid that she wants revenge during your sleep. But you look at his grave, until your eyes are burning and skin of your cheeks, dug by tears.  
There is a day where you can’t look at Scott without want to cry and scream. He has said that it wasn’t your fault and you have agreed at the time because he couldn’t know how much you liked it, to have power.  
They said that it wasn’t you, that it wasn’t your hand, but all the Onis were yours puppets.  
When Scott writes Allison’s initials to the school’s library, no one looks how you look guilty and fragile. When Theo Raecken become the person that you hate the most after yourself, you hope be able to do your good action.  
You are not. You punch him in the face when he talks about the nogitsune because you’re just a coward who doesn’t want see the reality in this bad guy’s eyes. You hit him again and again because you have lost your best friend. (You have lost everything, everyone. Dead as alive)  
  
You have lost your girlfriend, the one who tries to do her best for you, for all of you. You remember her perfume (because she was a coyote girl who smelled the rain and the forest, now she is a pretty girl unhappy who smells flowers and chic), her smile when you explained to her math, or anything that she had not understood before. You remember how she is brave, more than you will never be; how she is powerful by not killing people and help them when you kill the ones that you must save.  
Maybe you can’t love anymore. Maybe you are broken.  
Maybe you are a murderer and maybe that everyone can see it.  
Yours nightmares are more vivid than ever, now. They are colorful&loud&slow like a first kiss (blood is red like a ruby and Allison say “I love you” and you breathe again)  
One day, you forgot the sound of her voice, the sound of her agony, the way that she pronounces her loves words, and you want dream again, and the tomorrow, you remember everything about her.  
The expression of her face when she was concentrates the light in her eyes when she was happy, the comfortable silence that she worn on her when the days were too long for fake smile and illusions.  
It was like if everything, your dam of memories, were broken. You remember any details of her being with an increased that it is almost scaring. You look about symptoms on the web as you usually do since the day where Allison died (be possessed was like some mortal disease of which not be able to sleep and commit murder were symptoms) and you find about hypermnesia, which is exactly the opposite of amnesia.  
You cry when your dad is not home. You cry when you take your shower, with glimpses of imaginary blood (Allison. I’m sorry, it wasn’t my fault) on your hands that are so bright, and clean that it burns.  
Then, come a day in which you say to your best friend about your crush on his dead ex-girlfriend. He doesn’t say anything, he looks at you with his smile of savior of the world (which is a brilliant way to remind you that she was his and not yours, and that he is super werewolf, sweet like a cuddly toy).  
“It wasn’t your fault, Stiles”  
You wonder if he is talking about her death or your love. In the both case, you think that he believes that he is his own. He has not known how to protect her, how to love her until the end.  
And because you will love Scott for the rest of your life because he has always been here, with you, at your side, you bury Allison in your mind with flowers as an excuse.


End file.
